Fourteen Things I've Learned in 14 Years

A couple of weeks ago, just prior to the dissolving of the Millstream Ward, I attended my final Ward Prayer meeting. I had signed up to give the thought for the evening, not knowing when I did so that it was going to be one of my last meetings with that good group of people.

At any rate, in preparing my thought, I did a lot of reflecting upon the many ward activities I had attended over the years and the things I had both observed and learned personally from those experiences. These 14 items are what I came up with, and I'm reposting them here after a few people requested copies. (No, I wasn't in the Millstream Ward for 14 years, but I have been home from my mission for that long; so there ya go.)

1. Moses 7:18: "And the Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness; and there was no poor among them." I share this scripture because it pretty well reflects what my experience has been like in this ward. Fortunately, it's an environment we can help to create any and/or everywhere we go.

2. Be of the ward as well as in the ward. In other words, go to as many activities as you can. Why? Because even what appears to be the dullest activity can turn into something great; because there is something to be gained and there are friendships to be made. It's never ceased to amaze when I've witnessed a guy and a girl who have known each other for some time, perhaps years, and then they hit it off at a particular activity, and the rest of their story, as they say, is history. There are some who, for whatever reason, come to church every week but exit the building as soon as "amen" is said on the closing prayer, and they are never to be seen at the other activities during the week. As a result, they get nowhere near the same benefit from the ward and from the relationships to be gained as those who do attend everything they can.

3. Anything worth doing is worth doing well. This is a lesson that, fortunately, I learned early on. I cite the example of Bishop Lake, whom I first knew as Bro. Lake, a counselor in the bishopric, when I joined the ward. He was part of my first bishopric, and I remember the looks on his and Bro. Ohlson's faces when that bishopric was released and a new one called - how they could not hold back the tears and really feeling the love that they had for each of us. I have tried to serve others with the same spirit over the years through all of the callings and assignments I've been given. My experience in the ward came full circle, in fact, when last year, Bro. Lake was called to be Bishop Lake.

4. You never know who’s watching you, so be the best you can be. When I was still in college, I took an Institute class at the U., and it wasn't until the semester was half over that I learned one of my classmates was not a member of the Church. Fortunately, the other members of the class and I had been pretty good examples to her, and at the end of the semester, she ended up getting baptized.

5. Make your goal the temple, or bust. One of my U. of U. Institute teachers, Bro. Forsyth, once taught a lesson on this subject, and he spoke of the differences between having goals of "getting married by age 30" or of "being worthy to be married in the temple by age 30." Over the years, I've seen people get married out of spite toward someone who has wronged them, out of desperation, or for other reasons, and I've seen others who have given up on waiting for a temple marriage and have settled for much less than that. But I've also seen those who have made marriage in the temple their goal, no matter what, be rewarded with that blessing, even when they've had to wait for the right person until age 28, 29, or 30 - or beyond.

6. Be kind to everyone, no matter what. You don't know what demons they’re fighting. This point was reemphasized to me twice, following the suicide of two friends over the course of three years' time. That's two times too many. Everyone out there is having a hard time, in one way or another.

7. You can talk to the bishop about anything. I've never had a burden or problem, be it spiritual, mental, emotional, or social, that hasn't been relieved a good deal by going to talk to him. I have a testimony of the mantle that the bishop carries to lead us at this time. The same goes for his counselors and the others who have been called as advisors to the ward.

8. Everyone is nervous about dating and forming relationships; the ones who get over it are the ones who do something about it. If feel that you're too shy to talk to members of the opposite sex, then learn the art of conversation; practice with family members or close friends, and learn to listen. Or simply learn how to smile and say hello. It's all downhill from there.

9. If you don't want to go out with someone, it's okay to say no. Making up lame excuses and ignoring/avoiding that person wastes the time of both of you and is far more hurtful to that person. 'Nuff said.

10. You can't make friends with everyone. There will always be people who, for whatever reason, refuse to get along with you, no matter what you do. Even so, smile when you pass them in the hallway and say hi.

11. There are two types of regret: chances not taken and failure. Of the two, the former is far worse. Any basketball player knows that you miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take.

12. Try new things. If there's a hobby you've always wanted to learn, take a class. If there's someone you've known for years and are dying to ask her out, then do it. If there's a place you've always wanted to visit, then pick up the phone and call your travel agent.

13. Wear sunscreen.

14. The time goes by pretty fast; remember this: “Come what may, and love it.” –Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin I have enjoyed most every minute of it, and my only regret is that it couldn't last longer.