Among some of the article's findings:
- About one-fourth of those surveyed said that they felt "frequently lonely."
- Frequent feelings of loneliness were more likely to cause people to become depressed, while depression was not proven to cause loneliness.
- Those who are lonely, for example, will often be seen talking on their cell phones and/or texting others while in public or in the presence of groups of people. The message sent by these actions is that other people are far more important than the people with whom one is physically present.
- Loneliness is all about the quality and not the quantity of one's friendships.
- Just as happiness is contagious, loneliness is also contagious.
This article gave me a lot to think about, since I posted on the idea of spending time alone not too long ago. It's one thing, I suppose, to spend a little time now and then by one's self, but it's completely another when this kind of thing becomes a habit.
As I look around me, I see many people who are lonely and don't seem to know it, while there are others who appear to have gotten so used to being lonely that they have become comfortable with it and are afraid to step out of that comfort zone when any sort of opportunity to change their state of loneliness may present itself.
Is it possible to be in a room full of people and yet to feel completely lonely at the same time? I believe that it is. I have been in relationships in which it feels much more like two lonely people spending time together than two people making any sort of connection with each other. Needless to say, these relationships don't last long. It makes me think of the Ben Folds Five song "Brick," in which the singer utters the line, "Now that I have found someone, I'm feeling more alone than I ever have before."
I guess I don't really have any conclusions or concrete opinions on this matter but have rather been wondering what my readers, assuming I still have any, think on the subject. Feel free to post any comment(s) you might have.
Just don't be doing it between 4:00 and 5:00. That's Willie's time!
2 comments:
This post is very insightful Jon. It's definitely got me thinking. The only thing I can really add to this discussion, which you already sort of touched on, is that lonely people often turn to distractions such as texting, facebook, and even blogging to fill their life with some sort of social interaction. The sad thing is that it is not nearly as rewarding/fulfilling as the real, meaningful (in person) relationships are. Not saying that texts, facebook, and blogs are bad - just that they don't beat the real thing, and shouldn't replace it.
That is all.
I think some of us consider ourselves to be crabmeat - we're inside these shells and we're expecting people to come along and dig us out, and find out that we're delicious.
Personally, I like my psyche a little more naked. I am a stinky cheese. My nature permeates my environment, and I go good with triscuits. And crab.
It is the same thing not to seek connections and to reject them when they are offered.
My third and final thought: sometimes when I am alone in the mountains looking up at the full moon, and the way the trees glow I think, "I wish I had someone to share this with." Or when I'm sitting in the front porch swing and the sky turns dark, and the vanilla wind whips through our pine forest I think, "This moment is wasted if it's just for me alone." But my eyes, and my loneliness are as much a part of that moment as the low whistling of the needles, or the ocean-like rocking. Those moments when your soul swells can only be experienced from inside. They are sacred. Consider how awkward this sounds as a comment on a blog. There was a parable about it somewhere.
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