Dead Men *DO* Wear Plaid!

A shameless plug goes out today for Murray Arts Council's production of Forever Plaid, starring my brothers Ben and Steve as half of an excellent cast of four.

Yep, I'm biased. Admittedly.

For those not familiar with it, Forever Plaid is the story of the four Plaids, a doo-wop singing group killed in a car accident on the eve of their first major performance in 1964. In 2014, however, the singers are allowed to come back to Earth for a special one-night performance. Good, time-tested music and hilarity ensue. I went to see their opening-night performance Monday and was thoroughly entertained.

To obtain any additional information, visit the Forever Plaid Facebook event page at: https://www.facebook.com/events/1411848399074698/. The show plays through this Saturday night.

Grandma and The Thinker

I love this photo of Mom holding her newest grandson, two-month-old Christian Jordan, taken at last week's bimonthly family dinner.

As she serenades him with "The Surrey with the Fringe on Top" from Oklahoma!, he appears to be listening intently while making the same pose as Auguste Rodin's famous sculpture The Thinker.

The Plowmans Invade Oklahoma

It was essentially "The Plowman Show" last Saturday night at the Murray City Amphitheater, as three members of the family starred in Oklahoma! together. Ben and Steve headlined the production as Curly and Will Parker, respectively, and Summer gave support (and made her acting debut, to boot) as Gertie Cummings.

Prior to the beginning of the show, however, Ben joined his bluegrass band, Bluegrass Thunder, on stage to perform a number of tunes, including "The Orange Blossom Special" and "The Devil Went Down to Georgia," to get the crowd warmed up.

That was only the start of Ben's marathon evening, as the main event then followed. He and his castmates poured their hearts and souls into the performance. My brothers did their share of solo/duet singing and stage kissing, and I may be somewhat biased when I report that they did a great job. We were kept well entertained throughout the evening.

In particular, I enjoyed Steve's improvised moment when a very loud helicopter passed over the stage and amphitheater, as well as Summer's giddily amusing laugh as Gertie.

Good times were had by all.

Shakespearean Festival 2013

A couple of weeks ago, many of the members of the family and I made our annual trek down to Cedar City for the Shakespearean Festival. For more than a decade now, it has been an important family tradition.

This year, Mom and Dad; Dave and Jessica; Ben, Adi, and baby Christian; Steve and Summer; Biz and Jeff; and Jeff's brother, Dave, and sister-in-law Ginny made the trip. At the matinee, half of us went to see Twelve Angry Men, while the other half, myself included caught Love's Labours Lost, which was very comedic and entertaining but nonetheless had a somewhat ambiguous or abrupt ending to it that confused more than a few in our audience.

Well, you can't win 'em all, Mr. Shakespeare.

Between shows, Ben snapped this photo with me sitting next to the statue of the Bard:

At night, we together caught the evening show, Peter and the Star Catcher - which was based on a book co-authored by Dave Barry no less! It was very imaginatively carried out and amounted to a sort of prequel to the ever-popular Peter Pan story and movie.

Good times were had by all, and we are looking forward to the shows in 2014.

Day 366: 525,600 Minutes . . . Plus 1,440 More

How do you measure, measure a year?

It's rare for me to make a New Year's resolution that I stick to and keep all year long, and though deciding to do Project 366 has not been the traditional resolution, per se, I do feel a sense of satisfaction because I kept at it faithfully, even on days I was not up to it; because it (mercifully) comes to a close with today's post; and because I won't have to keep pestering you with daily posts about some inane thing or occurrence in my life - for the benefit of all three or so of you who have consistenly been with me on this journey through the year 2012.

I guess that's been one of the main things - knowing who my real friends are - that has kept me going throughout this endeavor. It's been encouraging to have your feedback about the project and to know that at least one person other than myself has been interested in its success.

Looking back at the past 366 days, I guess the prevailing question is: Where did the time go? And then I look back at the posts from Day 1 to Day 366, and I see - in my family alone - the addition of a new nephew, two sisters-in-law, three dogs, and a hamster; another cousin who got married; Mom and Dad finally moving out of their Bountiful home after 18+ years; four moves for yours truly, to different parts of Davis County, and (thankfully) mostly love and happiness, mixed with some sadness and tears - for into each life, a little rain must fall, too.

Going forward into 2013, there will still be a Disconcertingly Choppy, though I will not be posting as frequently.

As the future comes, one day at a time, I am again reminded of the words of the late Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin: "Come what may, and love it."

Day 286: "The Safety Kids"

It was a blast from the past for me the other day when I was at the Bountiful library and by chance came across a copy of my elementary school musical The Safety Kids - which also gave me my first acting role, back in the third grade. It all happened . . . well, many moons ago. I had one of the speaking parts as Gregory, the black boy pictured here on the CD cover:

There were no black kids in my third-grade class, so the part went to me. It was a nice trip down memory lane hearing the songs once again. Ahh, the good old days.

Day 232: An Evening of Rodgers and Hammerstein

Following family Sunday dinner with Mom, Dad, Biz, and Jeff, I made my first trip over to the Ed Kenley Amphitheater in Layton (where *ahem* the Improvables will also be performing next week) for one of their free Sunday night concerts. This particular evening featured several songs by the great American songwriting team of Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II, and - oh yeah - my sister-in-law Jana was one of the main performers. A handful of both Plowmans and Jacksons were there to support her, and we enjoyed the cool summer evening and the entertainment together.

Afterward, Jana posed (above) with her two daughters, as well as several of her nieces from the Jackson side.

Day 170: "Seven Brides" for Two Cousins

I've mentioned before here on Disconcertingly Choppy that I do not particularly care for the musical Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. Well, it's still true, but I'll save that rant for another time and another place.

Instead, I'll tell you that earlier this evening I went along with the parents, Ben and Adi, and Steve and Summer to see my cousin Scott (the mayor) and his 13-year-old daughter, Madison (one of the townspeople), perform in the aforementioned musical at a junior high auditorium - one far newer and nicer than most auditoriums I've ever been in, by the way - in Lehi. It was entertaining watching my cousins do what they enjoy doing with their spare time, which is really a thing that most of my family loves to do.

Incidentally, tonight's performance was the first time that Ben and Adi got to see another production of the musical by which they were first acquainted, as they met two summers ago while performing in a Seven Brides production in Murray.

Here's a shot of all four family members - past and present - to perform in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers:

Day 84: Bellydance like an Egyptian

Ben and I were among the family members in the audience earlier this afternoon to watch our 14-year-old niece Kylee perform in her school musical, Aida, up at Fairfield Jr. High in Kaysville (Layton?).

Kylee played the role of one the Egyptian slaves and, in addition, I must say, made quite a convincing bellydancer. I don't have all that much experience watching bellydancers, and I'm a bit biased as her uncle, but there you go.

At any rate, I had previously heard the music from Aida but had never seen the show performed live, and we enjoyed the show a great deal. The kids were not perfect performers, as many of them are still finding out who they are at that age, but they obviously had fun and gave it their all. After the show, our little thespian, still in her Egyptian makeup, posed for this picture with Uncle Ben:

Day 21: Karaoke Party

A few days ago, Ben and Adi, Steve and Summer, some of Steve's friends, and I got together for an evening of tacos and karaoke. Is there a better combination for a fantastic evening?

I submit that there is not.

Here, Summer and Steve (and friend) sing - go figure - "Summer Night" from Grease.

The Spirit of Giving . . . and of Receiving

This week, I've been doing some thinking about both giving and receiving. After all, it is the Christmas season, and it's a topic on most everybody's minds right now.

It was on my mind the other night when Kylee accompanied me to see the Madison Square Garden version of A Christmas Carol at the Davis Center for the Performing Arts (aka our Improvables home). Scrooge's problem, of course, is that he spends most of his life receiving and not giving. Only after the three spirits show him the errors of his ways does he learn that it's all in the giving.

Additionally, Bro. Kjar gave a rather thought-provking lesson on the subject a few days ago at our mid-singles Institute class. His conclusion was, essentially, that gifts not only have to be given but received and, as a result, both the giver is blessed for giving and the receiver blesses the giver for accepting the gift.

I think the same principle applies to dating - something that we single people tend to tussle with more often than we'd like to. At times, you seem to give a lot to someone who either doesn't want to receive the gift or who doesn't want to give anything back - at least, not at the same level you're willing to be at. It's like putting quarters into a slot machine. (Believe it or not, that's actually something I heard in a Michael McLean song.)

At any rate, what's my conclusion? I'm not 100 percent sure that I have one, although I do know this: I'm going to keep on giving. I may be a bit more cautious about whom I choose to give what and to what degree, but I will keep on doing so until there is someone who wishes to receive - and to give back a little now and then, too.

Shameless Plug: The Civil War

A shameless plug goes out today for The Civil War musical at CenterPoint Legacy Theatre in Centerville (which is hopefully also the soon-to-be home of the Improvables).

Opening Monday night, The Civil War is a Davis County fan favorite, having broken all sorts of sales records in its two (or three?) previous runs at CPLT's former home, Rodgers Memorial Theatre. It's a well-written and sometimes very touching musical, telling the stories of both the Union and Confederate sides of the conflict, the slaves, President Abraham Lincoln, the nurses, and others.

Thanks to a free ticket from a certain sister of mine who is a CPLT employee, I was able to attend last night's dress rehearsal. It was my first time setting foot inside CenterPoint, and I was very impressed with the new facility. The show is another fantastic production that will not disappoint.

One other thing: my brothers Ben and Steve are in the Monday-Wednesday-Friday cast, playing Confederate and Union soldiers, respectively.

For more information on this production, please visit http://www.centerpointtheatre.org/. The Civil War runs through July 11.

Big Trouble, Right Here in Centerville

It took me just over four weeks to get around to it, but I finally saw my siblings Steve and Biz and their fellow castmates put on the great American musical The Music Man at Rodgers Memorial Theater earlier tonight - on closing night, no less.

The fact that I am related to two of the cast members may make me a bit biased, but I enjoyed the performance a great deal.

Steve played Oliver Hix, a member of the River City school board and barbershop quartet, while Biz (hand-picked for the part by the director, no less) had much of the comic relief in the role of Ethel Toffelmeier, aka Marcellus Washburn's "Shipoopi." There were a handful of other familiar faces among the cast, to boot, including Jan Davis, my My Fair Lady director at RMT, who played the lead role of Professor Harold Hill.



Before tonight, I had previously seen The Music Man performed live on stage only once before - and Steve was part of that production, too. As a high school junior, he played the pivotal role of "River City Dancer #4."

Tonight's performance was no less entertaining than the one I saw at Bountiful High School 11 years ago. Familiar showtunes such as "Seventy-six Trombones," "Pickalittle (Talk-a-Little)," "Lida Rose/Will I Ever Tell You?", "Marian the Librarian," and, of course, "Shipoopi" were interspersed with many comic moments.

The good people at Rodgers never disappoint, and that endorsement has nothing at all to do with the fact that they also sign my Improv paychecks.

Seven Brides for One Brother

Last night, I ventured to the Murray Ampitheater to see my brother Ben perform in the musical Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.

I personally know a handful of women who, for some reason, claim this musical as their F.M.E.W.T.I.N.T.W. (Favorite Musical Ever Written That Is Not Titled Wicked). This fact and the appeal of both country music and the Twilight movies are three mysteries that will never, ever be solved for me in this lifetime.

At any rate, I promised Ben that I would come to see his show with an open mind, even though I once saw the movie version of Seven Brides a few years ago and wanted to shoot staples into my eyes by the time it was over.

Ben played the second-oldest Pontipee brother, Benjamin. Go figure!

As you can see in the below picture, deftly pilfered from Facebook (I forgot to bring my own camera to the performance - oops!), this role required Ben to not only act, sing, and dance but also to learn several circus-worthy acrobatic maneuvers.


Some other random observations from the performance:

- Dancing with blankets and axes never seemed so possible.

- Adam and Milly meet, get engaged, and marry so quickly that you'd think they were BYU students. (rim shot)

- In the sequence when the girls are kidnapped and the townspeople are out looking for them, a helicopter happened to fly above and past the ampitheater. At first, I honestly thought it had been scripted to happen that way. Even so, it was pretty cool!

- On that note, one of the women who is kidnapped - Benjamin's love interest, in fact - is named Dorcas. If your parents had named you Dorcas, you wouldn't object to being kidnapped and carried away to become a wife; you would, in fact, wish for it, if you catch my drift.

- The song "Bless Your Beautiful Hide" must have been the "Baby Got Back" of the '50s.

- The moral of the story, as far as I understood it, is that women will eventually respond positively to being kidnapped.

Well, that's what I got out of it, anyway.

Shameless Plug: Full Circle's Pinked Up Songs

A couple of months ago here on the Epistle, I posted about my experience of going down to the recording studio and singing some backup lyrics for a CD that my brothers Ben and Steve and their friend Jeff were working on. That CD has finally been released and is now available for purchase.

The primary target audience for this recording is Mary Kay (as in the makeup) sellers and distributors. It's a long story as to how this idea came to its fruition, but suffice me to say that Ben, Steve, and Jeff will be doing a lot of networking and will be attending various Mary Kay conventions and such in an attempt to market their CD.

Just this afternoon, I was handed a copy of Full Circle's Pinked Up Songs, fresh off the press. I may be somewhat biased, but it's an awesome CD.

Tracks include parodies of several popular tunes, including: "M.K. Basic Skin Care Set" (Metro Station's "Shake It"), "3 Is a Magic Number" (Jack Johnson's "The 3 R's"), "Eye Revitalizer" ("Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger"), "C-U-P-C-A-K-E: Seven Sweet Reasons to Sell Mary Kay" (Nat King Cole's "L-O-V-E"), "Just Have to Stay On Track" (Michael Bublé's "Just Haven't Met You Yet"), "Mary Kay Man" (ZZ Top's "Sharp Dressed Man"), "Pink Cadillac" (Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline"), and "The Bee Is the Key" (the Trashmen's "Surfin' Bird").

Yours truly - ahem! - sings backup on "M.K. Basic Skin Care Set" and "Pink Cadillac," along with a handful of others.

In addition, the guys cover four other well-know hits: Ryan Shupe and the Rubber Band's "Dream Big," Man of La Mancha's "The Impossible Dream," Jekyll & Hyde's "This Is the Moment," and Miley Cyrus's "The Climb."

To obtain a copy of Pinked Up Songs at the very affordable price of only $15, you may simply contact Ben, Steve, or Jeff personally. You can also find more information about the group and hear song snippets by visiting the Full Circle Web site at: http://bringitfullcircle.com/.

A Spicy Meatball!

Ever since I was a kid, going to the dentist has been one of my least-favorite things to do. Today, I learned that there is something even more frightening than going to the dentist: going to the oral surgeon.

My story begins many years ago, when I was in the sixth grade at Hannah Holbrook Elementary School. I was running up the slide on the "Big Toy" at recess - something only "cool" kids like me did - when one of my classmates slid down the slide toward me, knocking me off my feet and face forward onto the slide. As a result, I chipped one of my front teeth and also managed to get a lot of blood all over the slide and my shirt.

Whether or not my classmate slid into me on purpose is a debate that, in my mind, has never been properly settled.

At any rate, to make a long story short (too late!), I have had many problems with that tooth over the years. Here and there, it has chipped again. Six months ago, as I posted in November, the whole tooth came out and had to be reattached. Last week, the tooth came out again, and it came out a third time just this morning.

My dentist referred me to an oral surgeon for a permanent solution: getting the remainder of the tooth extracted and having my mouth prepped for an implant. I went to see the oral surgeon this afternoon, and to my surprise, he wanted to extract the remnant of the old tooth right then and there.

If you've ever had the misfortune of having to go through this, then you know that having a tooth extracted an and implant is a costly procedure. To help cut down on costs, I elected to have this first part done under local anesthetic - in other words, I would be numb but awake for the experience.

If you've not had the misfortune of having to go through this, I'll give you a nickel's worth of free advice: Choose being knocked out over the local anesthetic.

The procedure unfolded like this: I was first given a rather painful shot to numb the area where the oral surgeon would be working. Thinking it was fully numb - it wasn't - he began to yank on the tooth, and all the while, tears are pouring out of my eyes and I'm screaming from the bottom of my throat. Fortunately, he noticed this and gave me another numbing shot. For some reason - go figure - I began thinking of Steve Martin singing "Dentist!" in Little Shop of Horrors, especially the line about "causing great pain."

Once I was fully numb, he extracted the tooth as blood spurted out of my mouth and onto the surgeon and his assistant. The next step was to insert small bone fragments - taken from either a cadaver or a cow (yes, really) - into the now-empty tooth cavity to clear a path for later inserting the implant. To do this, he used either a hammer or a chisel (again, really) - remember, I was under the influence of not one but two numbing shots - to pound it into my mouth, shaking my skull and head and basically making what was really about 90 seconds of hammering feel like a half-hour.

At any rate, I survived to tell the tale, and I have been at home resting since, replacing the gauze in my mouth every 20 minutes or so, because I keep bleeding from my wound. After this, I have to wait eight-to-twelve weeks for the bone fragments to heal in my mouth, and then I go back to have the implant inserted. To cover up the large gap in my smile, I am going in to my dentist tomorrow to be fitted with a retainer, or "flipper," with a temporary tooth, adding a whole new level of sexiness to me.

Some guys have all the luck!

Shameless Plug: Singin' in the Rain

A shameless plug goes out tonight for Singin' in the Rain, now playing at Rodgers Memorial Theatre, which I finally got to see earlier this evening.

My brother Ben (Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays) and my Improvables colleague Ian (Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays) share the lead role of Don Lockwood, made famous in the film by Gene Kelly. Like Mr. Kelly, both Ben and Ian actually sing and dance in the rain (sprinklers, or something, installed above the stage make this happen) and tap dance, to boot. (I haven't seen Ian do this yet, but I hope I get the chance.)


I had previously seen the movie version of Singin' in the Rain but not the musical. It is, for all intents and purposes, the same entertaining characters, script, and plot.

Be "happy again"; see Singin' in the Rain before it closes January 30.

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever!

Last night, several family members and I ventured down to Salt Lake City to see the Church's Savior of the World musical at the Conference Center Theater.

It had been a number of years since I had last been to see SOTW, which originally debuted eight or nine years ago when the Conference Center was completed. It was the same fantastic production I remember seeing once before, though I noted that a few minor changes to the score and such had been made.

For those of you who may not be familiar with Savior of the World, it is esentially the story of Christ's birth in Act I and His Resurrection in Act II, as well as the faith and sacrifices of those who knew Him personally and who believed in Him. Maybe that's why it is always performed around Christmas and Easter.

Without a doubt, it is the best Christmas pageant I have ever seen. If you haven't been to see it yet, I hope that you take the opportunity to do so.

The Perils of Online Dating

Earlier today, I received the following message in my Inbox on one of the social Web sites to which I belong:

hay friend you very beautiful
my name is claryce i from brazil
kiss

I would remark that this kind of thing - flattering as it might be - is out of the ordinary, but it is not. Each month, I receive three or four messages like this on the aforementioned Web site, and they usually come from people who apparently learned their English by watching "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" or one of any number of other sitcoms produced in this country.

Why are the lyrics to "America" from West Side Story ("I want to be in Ah-mer-ee-kah, okay by me in Ah-mer-eekah . . .") now running through my head?

As a result of this kind of green card-grabbing attention - is there really any other name for it? - I suppose I am left wondering aloud whether there is a tactful way to deal with these unsolicited e-mails or if the best thing to do is just to ignore them or leave the site(s) entirely.


I have also found that many people who already live in this country and are seeking spouses do not so much have problems with being overly eager and perhaps giving "too much information" as they do with being, well, honest.

Over the years, I have been a member of a few different social Web sites with little-to-no success, though I have made a few friends and pen pals from the experience. At the same time, I have discovered that people will often put up different kinds of fronts on their profiles - inaccurate or out-of-date pictures being the primary problem.

I guess that's the chance that one takes. Everyone's chances are about the same, I guess - because I do have a number of friends who have met people who became their eventual spouses through this kind of thing (social Web sites, that is).

Then again, there are those who are of this opinion:

"As far as I'm concerned, the Internet is just another way of being rejected by a woman." -George (Steve Zahn), You've Got Mail

"Web Site Story"

Earlier this week, I returned to my alma mater, Bountiful High School, to see West Side Story, one of my all-time favorite musicals. It starred no fewer than four of my Improvables colleagues: Jake (Tony), Grant (Riff), Devin (Bernardo), and Taylor (Action). The kids put on an entertaining and enthusiastic performance.

Also this week, someone shared the link to "Web Site Story," a short and clever Web parody of West Side Story, with me. I enjoyed it immensely.

For some reason, I'm not allowed to embed this video. But here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtPb8g8Jl6I

Enjoy!