The Second Epistle of Jon

For those not in the know, Disconcertingly Choppy has now expanded. Of sorts.

When I began this blog in the fall of 2008, I chose the name "The Epistle of Jon" and also chose that as my Web address, though the Epistle, thanks to a "thoughtful" comment from a co-worker of mine, has since been renamed Disconcertingly Choppy.

At any rate, I recently created a second "Epistle" at: http://angrywhiteloner.blogspot.com/, where I plan to post more of my deep thoughts, feelings, opinions, musings, etc. I will still update Disconcertingly Choppy from time to time, but it will now focus on the kinds of things I focused on with 2012's Project 366, aka recent photos and family news and that sort of thing.

Don't worry, folks. I'm still the same old Jon/Paco/Osote/etc. you know and love, and I'm not particularly angry - at least, not at the moment - about anything in particular. Who can be at all upset on a Sunday evening well spent with family members and a dinner that included Yorkshire pudding and roast beef?

The title of this second Epistle is merely a reference to an improv character I have played a few times in the game "Press Conference."

Crystal clear? After all, the only thing better than maintaining one blog that people largely ignore is maintaining two of them.

You have been warned.

Day 366: 525,600 Minutes . . . Plus 1,440 More

How do you measure, measure a year?

It's rare for me to make a New Year's resolution that I stick to and keep all year long, and though deciding to do Project 366 has not been the traditional resolution, per se, I do feel a sense of satisfaction because I kept at it faithfully, even on days I was not up to it; because it (mercifully) comes to a close with today's post; and because I won't have to keep pestering you with daily posts about some inane thing or occurrence in my life - for the benefit of all three or so of you who have consistenly been with me on this journey through the year 2012.

I guess that's been one of the main things - knowing who my real friends are - that has kept me going throughout this endeavor. It's been encouraging to have your feedback about the project and to know that at least one person other than myself has been interested in its success.

Looking back at the past 366 days, I guess the prevailing question is: Where did the time go? And then I look back at the posts from Day 1 to Day 366, and I see - in my family alone - the addition of a new nephew, two sisters-in-law, three dogs, and a hamster; another cousin who got married; Mom and Dad finally moving out of their Bountiful home after 18+ years; four moves for yours truly, to different parts of Davis County, and (thankfully) mostly love and happiness, mixed with some sadness and tears - for into each life, a little rain must fall, too.

Going forward into 2013, there will still be a Disconcertingly Choppy, though I will not be posting as frequently.

As the future comes, one day at a time, I am again reminded of the words of the late Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin: "Come what may, and love it."

Day 365: Gangnam Style

I'm basically speechless about - and somewhat in awe of - this one:

Only one more day! Join me tomorrow for the exciting conclusion of Project 366!

Day 364: Manicure

Four years of age is too young to begin wearing makeup or anything akin to it - especially if you're a boy.

Of course, when you have a couple of mischievous sisters like Jackson does, you can't really blame the kid for what happened.

Day 363: S'more, the Hamster

For Christmas, Santa Claus brought McKenna a hamster, making it the second pet in the household and the fourth total new pet added to the family this year (and first non-dog).

Everybody got that?

She has named her hamtster S'more, after the campfire treat. Speaking of food, do you know that I've actually eaten hamster on two occasions? In Peru, hamster is considered to be a delicacy, and when you're in the mission field, you eat what is served on your plate - unless, of course, there are direct Word of Wisdom issues.

 Nevertheless, I've assured Kenna that her hamster is safe with me around.

Day 362: Christmas Aftermath

Mom and Dad slept over Christmas Eve, and the kids woke us up bright and early Christmas morning to open up their presents. The inevitable sleepiness that began to set in by breakfast time certainly took place thereafter, as you can see by the look here on Jackson's face:

Kylee, however, took a nap right in the kitchen.

Day 361: Silly String Attack

In two of my favorite images from Monday's family Christmas Eve party, Jeff pinned down Dallin and then proceeded to spray his face with silly string:

That's how we roll. There is really nothing else to say.

Day 360: Stalking Santa

At our Christmas Eve family party, Kylee logged on to the Web to check Santa's progress westward across the United States. At the moment she visited the NORAD Web site, he was in Jamaica.

Merry Christmas, Bedford Falls!

Day 359: A Not-So-Silent Night

With 19 Plowmans, two Woods, and three dogs running around Mike's and Jana's home, it's never a silent night at our Christmas gatherings - but we do our level best to collectively make it as memorable an experience as we can, and tonight was no exception.

At 5:30, we sat down for a tasty meal that included turkey, yams, stuffing, Costco cheesecake, and many other seasonal favorites.

I found Kira snacking on this piece of cauliflower:

It was nine-month-old Jacob's first Christmas, and he took it all in with wide-eyed wonder alongside his grandmother:

After dinner, we moved over to the family room for the annual Airing of Grievances.

No, not really; that's Festivus and "Seinfeld." We, of course, took part in an annual tradition of reading the Christmas story as it is found in both Chapter 1 of 3 Nephi and Chapter 2 of the Gospel According to St. Luke. Biz, as always, did an excellent job of putting together the narration, which was coupled with musical numbers.

One of these musical numbers featured nine-year-old piano prodigy Jenna, who played "Hark! the Herald Angels Sing" on the keyboard for us:

Jackson relished his role as one of the three wise men:

And so, as Tiny Tim observed: "God bless us, everyone!"

Day 358: The Candy Man

Today's photo was snapped by Jackson of me earlier tonight when he came by to pick up his weekly Super Blow Pop sucker:

See, he and I and his siblings have a deal. They come by my room for gum and candy on a regular basis - but only once a week, on Sundays after church, do they get a Super Blow Pop.

Giving out candy is one the few ways that I, as an uncle, have learned to score brownie points with the kids. If any of you out there have any additional suggestions, I'm all ears.

Day 357: Creepy Toy

This is Jackson's toy:

I'm not the only one creeped out by this . . . right?

Day 356: Improvables Benefit Show at West Jordan High

For the second time in two Fridays, the Improvables performed a benefit show to help raise money for a worthy cause. The setting this time was West Jordan High School, and the cause was the local Shriners' hospital.

Performing in the gym, rather than in the auditorium, was a bit of a challenge, noise wise, but the Jaguars were a very enthusiastic crowd, giving good suggestions for and enjoying our three-game, 15-minute set.

Afterward, three girls came up to us and asked for a photo - with Keenan only:

Among the other fundraising assembly activities we witnessed, the school choir and band performed, and students who raised a certain amount of money got to help shave off their principal's mustache and/or put a pie in the face of one of the teachers.

There was also a bachelor/bachelorette date auction, which Parker (who had not previously arranged to take part) jumped right up and joined in:

He netted a $10 bid. By contrast, one of the student bachelors earned $150.

It was an enjoyable experience for us as a troupe, and, all told, more than $4,200 was raised to help people in need.

Day 355: McRib Returns!

Today, I saw one of the tell-tale signs that Christmas is very nearly upon us. I don't mean snow or a manger scene or Christmas carolers or yet another viewing of It's a Wonderful Life, though all of those things are important.

No, I'm talking about the McRib sandwich returning to my local McDonald's restaurant.

There's very few things a McRib can't help make better - except for acid reflux. Or high blood pressure. Or about a few dozen other things. But other than that, yeah - I think I've made my point.

Day 354: Mr. Bean's Car

I had to run over to the library tonight to return a few items I had checked out.

Turns out that Mr. Bean beat me there.

Day 353: Kylee's Quinceañera

In Latin American culture, when a girl reaches her 15th birthday, the World's Biggest Birthday Extravaganza Imaginable is held, including a party with clowns, carnival rides, fireworks, magicians, the Harlem Globetrotters, unicorn rides, etc. (You might think I'm exaggerating. Well, I am - but only a little bit.)

Anyhoo, today was my oldest niece Kylee's 15th birthday. She's grown up so much in the past short while that it's hard to imagine - and even harder to believe she is now eligible to receive her learner's permit and to start driving.

We had a small family party for her, including cake and presents and few-to-none of the things mentioned in the first paragraph of this post. But it was enough for this 15-year-old, and she was grateful for it.

Day 352: The White Stocking

What are you giving the Savior this Christmas?

That was the subject of tonight's family home evening lesson, which Mike invited me to take part in along with Jana and the kids. We were each given a 3x5 card, onto which we were asked to write the kinds of things we would be willing to give Him, just as if we were one of the shepherds or wise men at the manger, for a gift.

The white stocking will hang over the fireplace for the remainder of the Christmas season as a reminder of those things we wrote that we would be willing to sacrifice for His sake.

Day 351: Kenna Plays Beethoven

Technology is an amazing thing. The more I learn about it, the more I learn (1) how little I know about it and (2) how far behind I am in keeping up with the Joneses' latest doohickeys and gadgets.

Case in point: Tonight, I came through the kitchen as McKenna was using an iPad app to play Beethoven's "Fur Elise" with the mere touch of her fingers on the screen.

Day 350: Improvables Benefit Show

Like many of you, I was deeply saddened yesterday by the news of the mass shooting of nearly 30 innocent school children and teachers that took place in Newtown, Connecticut. You couldn't turn on the TV or Facebook or the radio without hearing a report on it. Here in Utah, it rained and/or snowed ("sleeted"?) all day long, as the heavens seemed to be weeping for this senseless act of violence.

When I hear of a tragedy of this magnitude, the Savior's teaching comes to mind: "But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea." (Matthew 18:6)

When I arrived at the theater, I noticed that the American flag outside was at half-mast in a gesture of support and respect:

Our show last night was a benefit for four-year-old Koda Woodall, who is battling leukemia. The theater graciously let us perform rent-free, and since we didn't have to pay rent this night, 100 percent of the proceeds (amounting to more than $300) went to this boy and his family to help with their medical costs.

Yes, my heart definitely went out to the little children and their families in Connecticut yesterday. We want to do something or make some sort of gesture to make things better when it's not physically possible. Fortunately, life sometimes presents us opportunities, however, to pay it forward, in some small degree, to other "little ones which believe in (Him)."

Day 349: Jawa Bobblehead

At Tuesday night's aforementioned Improvables Christmas party, one of our activities was a white elephant gift exchange. For my contribution, I donated a roll of Justin Bieber duct tape (yes, that's a real thing) I just so happened to come across while at the store, and Shannon enthusiastically "Yankee swapped" for it and took it home. Apparently, she already has plans for how she's going to use it.

To each his/her own, I suppose.

As for myself, I ended up with a Jawa bobblehead, and I must say that it looks pretty good sitting up on my shelf.

Day 348: Ugly Sweaters

One of my favorite traditions from this time of year is the ugly sweater Christmas party. Tuesday night, that's just what the Improvables took part in together for our annual holiday shindig.

As you can see, our troupe - as they always do - went all out for this one.