Does mentioning that I watched this movie immediately destroy my credibility? Perhaps it does, but I'll risk it.
Four Christmases honestly wasn't that great of a film. (Go figure.) I watched it mainly because, well, I'm signed up with Netflix, and it was the holidays. I don't recommend it by any means. But there was one scene, in particular, that stood out with me.
In this scene, Reese Witherspoon's character and her father, who has been married multiple times and is preparing for yet another marriage, are having a conversation. She asks him if he has any regrets about those relationships. His answer to her is that he has just one: He wishes that he had been more honest.
Admittedly, it was a simple message from a forgettable movie, but it was something that has remained with me since then.
It made me begin to reflect as to whether I am entirely honest in my daily communication and my social interactions with others. As a society, I don't think that we are always entirely honest with each other, even though we claim to "believe in being honest, true," and all of that good stuff. Consider the following kinds of messages we tend to give each other:
What We Often Might Say: I like your haircut.
What We Really Mean: It looks like you wrestled with rabid wolverines and lost.
What We Often Might Say: I''m just too busy to do that.
What We Really Mean: I have 24 hours in a day, the same as you, but I prefer to fritter away my free time by playing Farmville on Facebook and watching "Friends" reruns on TV.
What We Often Might Say: I'm just not looking for a relationship right now.
What We Really Mean: I am looking for a relationship, but not with you, Puke Face.
What We Often Might Say: Maybe I can come.
What We Really Mean: There's no way that I plan on coming to your stupid party, but I'm far too "polite" to say no.
What We Often Might Say: It's not you, it's me.
What We Really Mean: It's you.
Why is it that so many people are afraid to "just say no" (remember the anti-drug campagin from the '80s?) when they don't want to do things, to talk to you, to spend time with you, or to date you? A Swiss friend of mine pointed this out to me a few years ago when a mutual friend of ours said that she would "maybe" come to an activity that my Swiss friend was hosting. This friend then went off on this rant about how "Utah people" always say maybe when what they really mean is no. It was a hasty generalization, to be sure, but experience has led me to believe that she may have been right to a large extent.
Forgive me for going off on my own rant about it.
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