Predictions for 2010

With the New Year now having firmly established itself as being here to stay, many people out there are predicting all sorts of things for the next 361 (or so) days. I have been reading all sorts of prophecies on the Web and elsewhere.

As a result, I present to you my own list of predictions for 2010:

- More people will spontaneously combust than will read this blog.

- By the end of the year, at least one of my single brothers will be married. (Can you guess whom?)

- The Utah Jazz will make the NBA playoffs and will once again lose in the first round. (I really hope I'm wrong on this one.)

- For the 102nd straight year, the Chicago Cubs will fail to win the World Series.

- An undercover audit of the construction work on Utah's roads will discover that laborers are actually spending the majority of their time "hauling dirt back and forth across the road."

- The guy who plays Edward Cullen in the Twilight movies - what's his bucket - will not pick up a comb all year. For some unknown reason, women ranging in ages from tweens to those in their 40s will continue to find this absolutely fascinating.

- Vice President Joe Biden, the second-most powerful man in the country, will continue to say and do many foolish things but will still receive far-less media scrutiny than Sarah Palin, who currently holds no public office.

- Their spend, spend, spend policies continuing to fail, the Democrats will get clobbered in the November 2010 election. In spite of this, President Barack Obama will hold a press conference to blame it all on Pres. Bush and to announce that because of the economic crisis, he intends to reorganize the United States of America into the first galactic empire. Executive Order 66 will then be issued, ensuring the extermination of anyone and everyone connected with the Fox News channel.