Day 87: Giant Mutant Pigs from Outer Space!

The other day, I pulled into the driveway - or, rather, I tried to pull into the driveway - and found this thing blocking my path.

Turns out the roof was getting fixed, and this was the trash bin for collecting scraps and junk. And here I thought we were being invaded by giant pigs that had left their equally giant feeding trough in their wake!

I guess you had to be there.

I Think I'm Paranoid

So, I'm driving down 500 South in Bountiful this afternoon when I happen to pass a Bountiful City police officer driving a Bountiful Police Department car.

Nothing unusual about this story so far, right? Our city absolutely teems with police officers and police cars. Assuming my Driver's Ed. teacher was correct, in fact, Bountiful City has the highest police officer-to-per capita ratio west of the Mississippi River.

Yes, really.

Anyhoo, getting back to the story: Just a few seconds after I pass this police car, I happen to glance up at my rearview mirror. What do I see but the police car making a quick U-turn, coming right up behind me, and starting to tailgate me.


Almost needless to say, I was a very careful driver for the next minute or so. I kept expecting to get pulled over - for what, I couldn't fathom; it hasn't yet happened to me in over 15 years of driving. I was a rather nervous nelly as the police car followed me for a few blocks. As we approached the next intersection, I decided to make a left turn, even though I didn't need to turn left, and made sure to signal my turn well in advance. Fortunately, the police car continued straight ahead and left me alone, possibly to tailgate someone else and make him/her, likewise, extremely nervous.

Has this ever happened to you? Or am I just imagining things?

Somebody's Watching Me

I don't know if I've been imagining things, or what.

Over the course of the past week, on multiple occasions, I have glanced at my car's rear-view mirror, while stopped at traffic lights, to see multiple people pulling out their camera phones or digital cameras and taking pictures of my car. Really.

A paranoid person might think he were being followed by the CIA, the FBI, or maybe even the Bookmobile's late fees collection department. (True story: My family checked out The Monster at the End of This Book from the Bookmobile nearly 30 years ago, and we never returned it.)

The whole situation reminds me of what used to be a well-loved '80s tune, "Somebody's Watching Me" by Rockwell, which I often rollerskated to at Classic Skating as I grew up. That song has now, of course, been ruined forever by its recent use in multiple GEICO TV commercials featuring a a stack of money with a pair of creepy-looking eyes attached to it.

Of course, there is a possible rational explanation for all of the people who have been taking pictures of my car: my LDSJEDI license plate.

To make a long story short: A few years back, a female friend told me about having seen a car parked at the Oakland, California, temple, and it had LDSJEDI personalized plates on it - through the state of California. We then got to talking and wondering whether anyone in Utah had taken out a similar license plate. Partly to try to impress her, and also because it seemed like a good idea at the time, I applied for and was approved for an LDSJEDI license plate issued by the state of Utah. (My second choice, by the way, was ECTO-1, the personalized plates on the Ghostbusters' vehicle.)


My lady friend was, in the end, not impressed with the initiative on my part. But, as it turns out, a handful of other motorists driving on Utah's roads might be. (True story: I once ended up driving on I-15 behind a guy with SKYWLKR personalized plates. It was one of those rare moments when the cosmos aligned just so.)