Reverse Rapunzels and Ivory Towers

I finally got around to seeing Disney's still relatively new animated movie Tangled last night. I had heard many people tell me that it was a great film, and their story checked out; it was fantastic.


One of my favorite scenes is near the beginning, shortly after we are introduced to Rapunzel as a young lady, now living as a captive in a lonely tower. As she sings "When Will My Life Begin" - the equivalent of the "hopes and dreams" song in Improv terminology - we learn many things about her. We learn that although Rapunzel is being held captive against her will by her evil "mother," she nevertheless manages to keep herself busy by reading, painting, cooking, solving puzzles, making candles, playing chess, and so forth. Further, we learn that if she could only set foot outside of her prison, she would do so much more.

Consequently, I know some people - male and female - who are kind of like reverse Rapunzels. They have the freedom to come and go as they please, to do whatever they want, but unlike Rapunzel, they have no or little motivation to do much else but sit at home most nights and shut out the world from everyone and everything, living vicariously through TV or movies. There is no evil "mother" keeping them there but themselves alone.

I know because I used to be one of these people.


What's my point? I guess it's that I'd rather be like Rapunzel than be a reverse Rapnunzel.

Unless movies and TV have lied to me.

Great Expectations

Earlier today, I found myself looking up at the sky a lot. A freaky-deaky sort of rainstorm rolled into Davis County, for those who did not witness it. I suppose it's because the sky kept reminding me of "The Nothing."

"The Nothing" is, of course, that thingy in the sky in the movie The Neverending Story (which truly never did end, as far as I know - weren't there two or three sequels and/or a TV show made?), which eats up and destroys everything in its path.

As a matter of fact, I recently watched The Neverending Story for the first time since I was a kid, thanks to Netflix, and I learned a few things that escaped me when I was younger. For one, I learned that the movie may, indeed, be even creepier than I originally thought. For another, I learned that "The Nothing" represents people's indifference.


As one of the characters describes it: The Nothing is represented in the fact that not only don't people don't care, it's that "they don't care that they don't care."

If you've followed this blog for sometime, then you already know that indifference is my #1 pet peeve about people.

Why is this? Upon reflection, I think it's perhaps because I often set my expectations too high, and I am too often disappointed when people do not meet those expectations.

I'll give you an example of what I mean, and it comes from another movie I recently watched: (500) Days of Summer. The title refers not to a season of the year but to the main character's (Tom's) relationship with a girl named Summer over the course of a 500-day period of time. It chronicles their ups and downs, and - skip to the next paragraph if you don't want the ending spoiled - breaking Hollywood taboos, they do not have a happy ending. (This is also not a film I necessarily recommend, due to some vulgar content.)

One scene is particularly heartbreaking, in which the screen is split down the middle. On one side, the viewer sees Tom's expectations of what Summer will do and how she will treat him at a social gathering. The other side shows what really takes place at this party and how Summer fails to meet those expectations and to love him in the manner he would like her to.


I relate to this scene, because I have played out the same scenarios time and time again in my own mind. And far more often than not, I have been disappointed with the reality or outcome of events. Has what I have perceived as indifference on others' parts been, in reality, my too-high or unrealistic hopes and expectations? Or has it, indeed, been indifference after all?

Either way, the lesson I get from all this is: To heck with others' expectations. If you look toward others to feel accepted, to feel good about yourself, or to feel loved, then you will more often than not be disappointed. Focusing on your own goals and ideals is a much better way to tackle things.

I'm not exactly there yet, but I know it's true, and I'm trying. Unless movies and TV have lied to me, I'm sticking with that.

The Problem of Indifference

Recently, someone who had read through some of my older posts noticed that I used the word indifference a couple of times and then asked me what the word means. I realize that it is not all-that-common of a word, and I work with words all day long, so maybe sometimes I use terms with which others are not familiar.

Though the rest of you didn't ask for it - and since I have nothing better to do at the moment - today I will explain and elaborate on what I mean by the term indifference.

The attitude of the indifferent may be best summed up in the words of Emperor Kuzco - before his change of heart - in The Emperor's New Groove: Essentially, they "don't know, don't care."

Indifference in people is one of my biggest pet peeves about dealing with others. Why? It is, in its essence, selfishness. It's rejecting someone twice by not even responding to an offer or invitation, for example, let alone responding to tell them no. It's in not lifting a fingernail, let alone a finger, to care about others' needs or concerns.


Regarding the topic of indifference, allow me to quote President Howard W. Hunter, who once said:

"Indifference is the most hurtful affront we can give people. They crave personal recognition. It is ill-mannered to ignore people in the home or office, to pass others without greeting, to look at them with blank eyes, to talk around them as if they were not there. Here is one way everyone can contribute to the pleasantness of life: by recognizing people as fellow human beings with a greeting or a good-bye or a wave of the hand. Courtesy, after all, consists of little things. It is lacking in any masterful quality, but it wins friends in the collisions and minor adjustments of daily life. No one is likely to say 'thank you' too often" (The Teachings of Howard W. Hunter, p. 57).

Manifestations of indifference are all around us. You see it in people behind the wheel in their cars who are far more interested in sending text messages or running through red lights than being courteous and careful. It's in ignored or unreturned greetings, phone calls, text messages, and/or invitations. I believe it's also manifest by, say, people who may raise their hands in church to welcome and fellowship a new ward member and then subsequently don't make any kind of effort to meet or get to know that person - just to give an example. (That is not doctrine, of course; just a page from the Epistle of Jon.)

Indifferent attitudes belonging to those people who aren't friends or acquaintances don't bother me. You expect those people to not care a whit about your or your concerns or your problems. It's when loved ones and friends - those you expect to and hope will be on your side - show indifference that it's disappointing and frustrating and dare I say even heartbreaking at times.

Fortunately, I find myself surrounded by many good people who, for the most part, don't fit this description at all. And I am very grateful for them.