Love Poetry for Dummies: "Have I Had Any Dates?"

All I can preface this with is that is has been a very long week, and my thoughts have wandered considerably while I have been under the weather. Also, before you send me hate mail, please note that I am picking on both the men and the women. So, there you have it.

"Have I Had Any Dates?"*
(To the tune of the hymn "Have I Done Any Good?")

Verse 1 (Women Only)
Have I had any dates in the ward today?
Have I flirted or dropped any hints?
Did I respond to a guy
Who came up and said "Hi"?
Or were my signals mixed and my words minced?
Has any guy’s Franklin been fuller today
Because I dared answer him yes
To bowling or dinner? Maybe a nice play?
Or did he hang up the phone, sad, depressed?

Then go out, and do something more
Than dream of some vampire in Forks.
A real guy would be better
Than a wimpy bed-header;
Vampires are pasty-white dorks!

Verse 2 (Men Only)
There are chances for dates all around the ward;
Opportunities right in your face.
Do not let them pass on;
Soon she just might be gone!
Try to get Mom and Dad off your case.
’Tis noble of young men to give, buy, and spend;
Love's labor comes with a price tag.
He with deep pockets is not alone in the end;
All others are stuck going stag.

Then go out; don't sit there at home,
Playing Rock Band or Halo all night.
Your Wii will be waiting
When you get back from dating,
Only those who cast lines get a bite!


*Any inferred sacrilege is completely unintentional and is the sole responsiblity of the reader.