A Date with . . . Myself?

Last night, I made the monthly trek down to Provo to perform improv at ComedySportz. This is a trip I usually make along with with my sister, Biz. Since we both have to commute about an hour each way, the powers-that-be are usually good enough to schedule us for the same nights. But last night, she was not on the schedule, and I made the journey by myself.

I have found that I am a much different person when I am in the car by myself. Yes, I perform Improv, but I am still somewhat self-conscious when it comes to doing certain things in the car. When I'm alone, I often turn up the volume of the CD player and sing along to whatever I'm listening to. I often hit the buttons on my Stress Elminator (if you've been a passenger in my car, you've probably seen it), which makes machine gun, grenade, and other noises that I "aim" at the bad drivers who surround me on the roads. If it's late at night, I also talk to myself to keep myself awake, often quoting lines from plays I have taken part in or my favorite films. I rarely do these things when one or more people are in the car with me.

Yes, a person talking to himself may not be crazy; he may just be an actor rehearsing his lines. Then again, he might be both.

I am also someone who spends a lot of time alone. At work, I communicate with most co-workers through e-mail or the telephone. I can spend most of a day at work, in fact, having hardly spoken to anyone else. It doesn't mean that it's something I enjoy doing, per se, but that it's something I've gotten used to doing.


Such was the case (spending time alone) as I drove to and from Provo last night. On a more than 100-mile round trip, I think I learned some things about myself. The thought occurred to me that I'm still getting to know myself. There are things I don't like about myself, true, but everyone has those things, and I'm working to overcome those things and to become a better person - warts and all. The thought then came to me that spending time alone isn't such a bad thing; that is, if you like with whom you're getting to spend time.

I enjoyed this "date," of sorts, with me, myself, and I. And I'm thinking of asking "him" to do it again a second time, and we'll see how the relationship develops from here.

Speaking of which, many of you have asked me about it over the past few days, so I'll come right out and state that an actual dating relationship I had over the past few months came to an end this week. I am confident that it was the right decision for both parties involved. As a result, I am alone again, naturally.

Earlier today at church, I discussed the matter of dating with a good friend who is, coincidentally, also going through a breakup of his own. I mentioned that I felt like I had absolutely no idea what women want.

"Just be yourself" was his response.

That's good advice, and I thanked my friend for it. "Yourself" is someone I can get along with, and I guess it starts there.