Okay, so that's more than one question. Sort of. I mean, they're really the same question. Also, if I knew the answer, I wouldn't be asking.
Nothing specifically has happened lately to cause me to ask this question. Then again, maybe that's exactly why I'm asking it - because nothing specifically has happened lately.
It seems like there is not any one, specific guideline on the matter. Or is there? Inquiring minds want to know.
Truth be told, I don't know many, if any, guys who look forward to the doorstep at all - be it an awkward moment or not. We spend all of that time, in the first place, stressing over who to call for the date; then wondering if she'll say yes; then trying to be charming/funny and look cool on the date itself; then, on the way to the doorstep, wondering silently if she wouldn't mind a second date, or if she thinks we look like the Elephant Man; and then, after all of that stress and worry, we have to face a doorstep - the most intimidating moment of all - too?
No wonder the doorstep is always the last moment of a date. We put it off as long as we possibly can. It's almost enough to make us want to get it over with, no matter how awkward, and then breathe that sigh of relief that comes when a date is over.
As for me, I tend to err on the side of caution. I let the girl initiate any kind of gesture, if anything at all is to happen - because I don't want to make her feel like she owes me anything back . . . if that makes sense.
Hugs are great. But personally, I would rather get slapped in the face than be offered a handshake. There's just something so - I don't know - underwhelming about a handshake at the end of a date that makes it feel like a slap in the face. At least, with a slap in the face, you know you're getting what you feel like you're getting.
I have also seen girls literally run inside without saying another word. What causes this? I don't know. Maybe I start to turn into a werewolf in the light of the full moon, and I'm just not aware of it. Maybe they're in a hurry to catch the weather forecast on the news. Maybe they're used to guys not even walking them to their doors, or perhaps they are accustomed to being tossed out of the passenger-side window as he drives by. The possibilities are endless.
And, no, in case you were wondering, I haven't been slapped in the face - yet. But it's still early. I have, however, been the one to do the slapping.
It was for a role in a play, okay?
3 comments:
That's a great post Jon. I agree, I would probably rather get a slap in the face than a handshake. I've never gotten a handshake though.
There is the awkward moment as you are walking up to the door, but I think I've got it down. I usually say something like, "That was fun, thanks for coming with me." Then when I get to the door, I don't attack her with a hug, but I put out my arms, and the hug happens naturally...hmm, explaining it that way makes it sound more awkward. But anyway...
Man, it's been a while. I can tell you, though, I gave really great handshakes in High School.
Let me tell you how my dates saved themselves the awkwardness of the doorstep: they dropped me off and then watched me trudge alone in the darkness to my front door. Then again, we were hardly on familiar enough terms for physical contact. EYE contact would have been too personal.
But oh, their mothers loved me. . .
I must agree from a female standpoint Jon, that the doorstep scene is just plain awkward for both parties involved. You males are not alone in this awkwardness I promise. In my opinion a hug is a nice way to end things regardless of the commitment status -its polite...and yes a handshake does seem like kind of a shaft. I tend to try to let the guy do the initiating at this point myself, and try to be as least awkward as possible (though it still can occur.) Thanks Jon, this is a post both guys & gals can relate well to!
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