Weird Dreams and Faux Hawks

Lately, I've been having some weird dreams. I don't know what, exactly, my subconscious is trying to tell me, other than the fact that it has an overactive imagination and also way too much time on its hands.

A few weeks ago, I had a dream in which I walked into a barbershop and sat in a chair for a haircut. Rudy Giuliani, former mayor of New York City and former Republican candidate for the presidency, then proceeded to give me a haircut.

I have wondered what it could possibly have meant. Maybe Rudy was trying to give me a guilt trip for not voting for him in the Utah presidential primary last year. (That's the best I have come up with.)

Then, last night, my dreams took me to the cliffs of Dover, which overlook the English Channel on the southeast coast of Great Britain. I have never been to the cliffs in person, though I have seen pictures. I also remember Kevin Costner making an idiot out of himself, playing in the sand on the beach in one of the scenes of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.


I have two ideas about this latest dream. One, some of the members of my immediate family are planning a trip to the U.K. in the spring to visit our extended family members who live there. Two, I have played a lot of Guitar Hero III during the past week, which includes the tune "Cliffs of Dover" by Eric Johnson.

I also have three types of recurring dreams:

1) I am back in Peru, for some strange reason, on an extension of my mission. But I can never learn what my "unfinished business" there is.

2) I am back in my least-favorite English class in college, way behind on my homework and failing.

3) I step on stage to perform my lines in a play, but I have forgotten what I am supposed to say.

Does this mean that I'm an insecure co-dependent and need other people to validate me? Huh? Does it?

I wish I knew how to interpret dreams. Maybe what I need to do is to listen to the Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat soundtrack backwards while I sleep . . . or something.

This morning - I'm still not sure whether or not this was a result of the cliffs of Dover dream - I woke up with a bona fide faux hawk on my head.

For those of you who may not know what a faux hawk is, you're better off not knowing. Ewan McGregor can pull it off - sort of. I sure can't.

John Bytheway has claimed that there is a mythical creature named Ralph, the Midnight Hairdresser - he comes from the same family line as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy - who sneaks into your room at night and messes up your hair. I'm inclined to believe that he's right.