Green Eggs and Comfort Zones

As I came into sacrament meeting today, I found a copy of Green Eggs and Ham that had been left on the bench.

I had a few minutes to kill before the meeting began, so I picked it up and flipped through its pages. One of the members of the bishopric gave me a funny look from the stand. A couple of the girls seated across the aisle giggled in my direction, too.


You can really learn a lot from Dr. Seuss if you're in the right mindset. On its surface, Green Eggs and Ham is a story that teaches rhyming and shows children how fun reading can be. A deeper meaning - at least one that I get from it - is that it is okay for us to come out of our comfort zones every now and then and try something new. You never know what you will end up enjoying once you have tried it.

In high school, I went to just two school dances. Generally speaking, I pooh-poohed the idea. It wasn't that I didn't want to go; I had just never learned to dance and felt like an idiot when I was out there on the dance floor.

Time passed. I went on a mission to Peru. Missionaries obviously don't - and shouldn't - dance, but with awe I would occasionally observe Peruvians at their parties. The concept of having a party and not dancing does not compute in their minds. They are practically born knowing how to salsa. Little kids would blow me away with their ability to cumbia.

More time passed. I returned home and got back into school. On a whim, I decided to sign up for a Latin dance class. To my own surprise, I was able to (eventually) pick up the cha-cha. Then, I learned rumba, merengue, samba, and tango. I took another dance class, and then another. When I graduated, I had taken five semesters of ballroom/Latin dance.

What had once been a weakness had become a strength and a favorite pasttime. It is fun, and it is great exercise, too. It has helped my social life more than any other course I took in college, I might add.

So, you think you can't dance? If I can learn, then anyone can.

It's nice to sit in the hot tub for a while. We like the feel of it and the temperature of the water. But there is warmth to be found in other places, too.

Incidentally, I have tried green eggs and ham. And I liked them. All it takes is a little bit of food coloring . . . and some will power.

Pepe-roni

It was my good friend Pepe's birthday Thursday. On Friday afternoon, I was invited to help celebrate Pepe's big day by joining him, his sister Sarah, and Sarah's friend Jolene at Chuck E. Cheese in Layton.

Yes, that wasn't a typo: Chuck E. Cheese, a place I hadn't visited in perhaps two decades. You're never too old to get back in touch with your childhood - right? - so I was happy to tag along for the excursion.

The pizza was good but not great, and more video/arcade games than not were geared toward the elementary school-aged set. I think we were the only ones our age there who didn't bring their kids along. But, at Chuck E. Cheese, it's all about the environment.

We particularly enjoyed posing in front of the blue screen - similar to the kind that TV weathermen use for their forecasts - which put us in the middle of some sort of Chuck E. Cheese music video. (I don't remember the names of all of the creatures involved, but one of them, we agreed, was a cross between Barney and Cookie Monster.)

Here's Pepe, showing how it was done:



Here's my attempt at it:



I also tried to do my best Phil Connors (the weatherman played by Bill Murray in Groundhog Day) impersonation:


We are on our knees for these shots because, well, we were about twice the height of most of the kids who used the screen.

As we ate lunch, it suddenly became "birthday parade" time (or whatever it's called) at Chuck E. Cheese. This involved the kids who were celebrating birthdays joining Chuck E. for a song and dance in front of everybody. We encouraged Pepe to join with them, but he declined. As these kids' ages were shown on the TV screen, we noticed that none of them was older than 14.

Pepe is, well, a few years older than that.

After lunch, we played several of the games in the arcade area. Sarah and Jolene won several tickets for our gang - which we later traded in for Pop Rocks - with a "Simpsons"-themed pinball-type game. It turns out that Pepe is quite the skilled skee-ball player.

Thanks, Indeed

Yesterday, I got to spend Thanksgiving with my parents, siblings, and my siblings' families, including Mike's dog, Xena. As an added bonus, my cousins Scott and Jared and their respective clans also joined us for dinner, making it a grand total of 30 Plowmans and Sanders under one roof.

It had been literally a few years since I had seen Jared's family, and it was great to spend some time with them once again.

All of the trimmings were there, too: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, yams, and - my personal favorite - pumpkin pie. I don't think I have ever seen that much food at the house at one time, counting all of the other Thanksgivings, missionary farewells and homecomings, birthday parties, etc. A lot of good cooks contributed a lot of time into preparing it all.


At dinner, Jared - who lives and works in California as a highway patrol officer, or one of the "CHiPs" - entertained us with various humorous stories from his experiences on the job, including pulling over cars that were filled with illegal drugs. (Yeah, the kids weren't around for this part.)

While most of the gang stayed indoors and played "Catch Phrase," I joined my cousins Eden and Jordan and my nephew Dallin in the garage for several rounds of what Eden called "Scar Pong." Unlike regular ping-pong, this game involved the four of us traveling around the ping-pong table, each taking his turn at hitting the ball and trying to keep it bouncing without stopping. Anybody who messed up earned a letter towards "SCAR" (as in "Horse"). When anyone reached "SCAR," the other three of us got to take turns trying to hit him, with his back turned to us, with a ping-pong ball. If you hit him, you got to try again. At one point, I had hit Dallin 17 times in a row. But he was a good sport about it.

It's not too hard for me to take a look around and realize how many blessings I have in my life. My family, many of whom I got to spend the day with, are foremost among them. There are other aunts, uncles, and cousins in Utah, California, and England whom I didn't get to see but who were, nevertheless, in our thoughts. Between last Thanksgiving and this one, I have gained a a nephew (seven-month-old Jackson), a niece (six-week-old Kira), and a brother-in-law, Jeff.


The above picture is from Biz and Jeff's wedding in June. It's missing Kira, who was born in October, but it's the most current family photo that I have.

I am likewise grateful to have many good friends - probably more than I deserve - who help to keep me on the "straight and narrow" and who inspire me to be a better person. Many of these people are in my ward, which I feel is the right place for me to be right now. Others are people I have known for most of my life - some as far back as pre-school - who continue to influence me for the better.

The restored gospel of Jesus Christ still blesses me on a daily basis. I don't know where I would be without it.

Wherever you are or were, I hope that you enjoyed your day, too.

Split Personalities

There is a girl in my ward I have been interested in for some time now. She is cute, smart, funny, happy, and a good friend to a lot of people, among other positive qualities. In spite of all of that, I think she might like me, too. I have enjoyed taking part in several conversations and activities with her and found that, in spite of our differences, we actually share a lot of things in common. (I'll refer to her as "Person A," for future reference.)

So, what are you waiting for? you might be thinking. Why don't you ask her out, you big sissy?


We get along like that only about half of the time. I will explain.

The other half of the time, she seems to be . . . someone else. (I'll call her "Person B.") She seems to either avoid or ignore me. Not long ago, I approached her out of the blue and greeted her with a "hello," to which I received no response at all. She then resumed talking to the person next to her. Embarrassed, I left.

I don't know if she's just not interested and is too polite to tell me, or she doesn't know that she's doing it, or she's tired at these moments, or I did/didn't do something that offended her, or I'm just misinterpreting or misperceiving circumstances, or what. I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. What I do know is that I have seen a healthy dose of both Person A and Person B, often during different parts of the same day.


If I call her up for a date, will I get Person A or Person B on the phone? That's what is holding me back.

For those who have stuck with me this long, do you have any thoughts on the matter? comments? complaints? I honestly would like to know. I have my fair share of dating "blind spots," too.

(If you enjoyed these comic strips and are interested in seeing more of the same, please visit: http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/, one of my favorite new sites on the Web. It is only a coincidence that the main character and I share the same first name.)

Random Thoughts from the Road

This afternoon, I drove into Salt Lake City to run an errand. However, when I arrived at my intended destination, I found that the door was locked, the lights had been shut off, and all of the employees had decided to pack up and leave an hour early, without telling anyone about it.

I could consider this a wasted trip. But the journey there and back was such an entertaining experience for me. Among other things, I observed:

- It's autumn out there! Autumn is my favorite season of the year. Today may have been the first time this season that I really noticed the colors of the leaves outside.

- About 30,000 banners advertising the Body Worlds exhibit have been placed along 400 South (which turns into 500 South up at the U.) alone. (No, I wasn't a math major.)

- I'm pretty sure that the U. student walking outside of Rice-Eccles Stadium would have shot laser beams out of his eyes, if he could have done so - like Cyclops from X-Men - at a car with BYU flags that drove past and would have scattered it to the four winds. There is definitely no love lost between Ute and Cougar fans, especially during rivalry week.

- I'm convinced that most orange barrels remain on the roads and highways not because of actual construction taking place but because somebody is too lazy to put them back where they came from.

- The guy wearing the dark-grey hoodie and jaywalking across the street (in a 40 MPH zone) at a leisurely pace, in the dark - which made him very hard to see - was obviously perturbed at me when I flashed my bright lights on him to make sure I didn't run him over and turn his body into ravioli. That was rude of me. I apologize, dude.

- The guy who ran up my tailpipe at a speed of at least 90 MPH - though I wasn't even in the fast lane - wasn't really doing it to bother me, nor was he late for traffic court. He was just trying to get his flux capacitor working again and return home safely to the year 2038.


- There are a lot of weird-looking churches out there, architecturally and otherwise. Though I will never set foot in most of them, I must admit that they have some clever signs posted out front.

Random Scripture of the Day:

"And Moron did that which was wicked before the Lord (Ether 11:14)."

I have nothing further to add.

The Bald and the Beautiful

Yesterday, I wrote a post about some of the terrible things that hate and anger are doing in our society. Today, I'd like to focus on quite the opposite.

Local TV station KSL (Channel 5) featured a story today about Emmalee Havertz, a third grader at Morgan Elementary School in Kaysville. This little girl recently started chemotherapy for liver cancer and, as a result, lost all of her hair.

Emmalee's classmates - eight- and nine-year-old kids - didn't fully understand what their friend was going through. They wanted to help her, but they weren't sure how to do it.

Eight of the boys in the class chose to shave their heads as a sign of support. My nephew Dallin was one of them.


I'm so glad that Dallin chose to do this. (It was his choice, and not his parents'.) I didn't even hear about him shaving his head until after the fact.

Dallin has always had a big heart, so I shouldn't be surprised. He has set a good example of kindness and compassion to this uncle.

A little of that goes a long way.

You can see video of the full story here: http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=148&sid=4824304

Anger Management

People all over the place are really angry about a lot of things right now. I read about several of them tonight as I perused the pages of today's Deseret News. (There was an excellent article on the same topic in last week's paper by columnist Doug Robinson: http://www.deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,705262181,00.html)

You see these irate people everywhere. They are on TV or on YouTube. They are even picketing around Temple Square and the state capitol building. And they are definitely not afraid to hide that fact that they are hopping mad about, well, almost everything.

The anger thing isn't going to get any better this week. The annual BYU vs. Utah football game is coming up this Saturday, and we all know what that means: The Mr. Hyde in many Cougar and Ute fans will be coming out for a visit.

Bring up any number of topics, and - want it or not - you will get their opinion on any number of current events, often with clenched fists, beet-red faces, and little volcanoes emerging and erupting from the tops of their scalps. Some of these topics include, but are not limited, to: the release of the Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince film being postponed until next summer (okay, not so much of a problem, really), George W. Bush being responsible for everything wrong with this country, having to endure living on the same planet and breathing the same air as Sarah Palin, gas prices, the economy, and - oh yeah - the LDS Church's involvement in California's Proposition 8, which passed in the election held two weeks ago.


If you dare disagree with these Proposition 8 people, in their book, you are therefore labeled (by people who largely don't want to be labeled) "homophobic," "intolerant," "bigoted," "hate filled," "ignorant," and a "hypocrite," plus you will be told that you need to come out of the cave and into the 21st century and/or you must die a horrible, painful death - possibly by being smothered in peanut butter and being dropped onto a pile of killer ants, like those in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - at the earliest possible moment.

They use big words like these, while at the same time their actions show that they are clearly the ones who are full of hate and intolerant.

In Peru, they have a saying: El ruido de tus acciones no me permite oir tus palabras. Loosely translated, it means: "The noise from your actions blocks out the sound of your words." I think it applies here.

The Proposition 8 protests have saddened me a lot. The election is over, but they refuse to accept the results. (Just imagine what would happen if John McCain acted in a similar manner and encouraged his supporters to send hate mail to the president-elect.) Their demonstrations are also being directed at my church, even though the LDS Church was just one of several in a coalition to support Proposition 8.

My Improv colleague Tonia wrote a letter to the editor in defense of Proposition 8 that appeared in Thursday's Deseret News. Saturday night, I performed in a show with Tonia's husband, Curt, and mentioned to him that I had read the letter.

"We've already received hate mail," he replied.

Over the past two weeks, LDS meetinghouses in Utah have been vandalized. At one building, a copy of the Book of Mormon was set on fire. Last week, an envelope containing white powder - at first feared to be anthrax - caused an evacuation of Temple Square.

Yes, whoever is doing it is using terrorism.

So, what can we do about it? What do we have left to "turn" when we have used up your "cheeks"?


I recently read an excellent article by Paul Bishop that sheds important light on the subject. Bro. Bishop writes from personal experience about the protests that have been held outside of the grounds of the Los Angeles temple. If you haven't already done so, I hope you take a look at it:

http://www.meridianmagazine.com/ideas/081110hate.html

Reading this article created all kinds of emotions inside of me. I felt sad, then annoyed, then angry, and then the cycle started all over again. Ultimately, though, Bro. Bishop concludes his article in just the right spirit. He quotes Elder Robert D. Hales on the true spirit of tolerance. He also adds the thought that Pres. Monson, in the face of this kind of persecution, knows what's going on and is leading us in the right direction.


I'm very grateful to have both a prophet and an exemplary man to whom I can look for guidance and counsel.

Fighting anger with anger and hate with hate has never solved anything - at least, not since Old Testament times. As the scripture says:

"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance" (Galatians 5:22–23).

I am also reminded of this excerpt from the life of Elijah:

"The Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake:

"And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice" (1 Kings 19:11-12).

I know from experience that you can win converts to your cause - so to speak - only by kindness, civility, and rational thinking.

And that speaks louder than words.

Hooray for Bollywood!

On Friday night, I attended Shannon's "Bollywood Initiation," which featured a screening of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (Something Happens). It was the first official Bollywood film I have ever seen. (I was told by someone who knows that Bride & Prejudice doesn't count, and neither do Gandhi or Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. So, I guess I have to take her word for it.)


It turned out to be a three-hour movie, but it felt more like two movies put back-to-back into one plot line. The first half was like "Saved by the Bell" meets Grease and High School Musical, while the second half was partly The Parent Trap and The Great Outdoors mixed in with High School Musical 2 - all portrayed by Indian actors, singers, and dancers.

In addition to being a Bollywood film, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai is also a chick flick. You better believe that more than a few "somethings" happen. There's a romantic triangle, cheesy singing and dancing, (purposely?) bad acting, enough pastel-colored clothing to choke a camel, new-age sound effects, GAP shirts, several fantasy scenes set in the ruins of a medieval Scottish castle, slam dunks on basketball rims set at seven feet, another romantic triangle, fans blowing in the hair of the lead actors, and crying - several gallons' worth of crying. In fact, Schindler's List didn't feature that much crying.

I will admit freely that I enjoyed the movie. Part of that, perhaps, was due to the fact that our little gang was collectively doing its best Statler and Waldorf impersontation throughout - shooting off commentary at will from the peanut gallery. Another part is due to this being a movie that doesn't take itself or its subject matter too seriously - for the most part.

It's so family friendly, kissing on the lips is considered taboo. How can you not like Bollywood?

Thanks to Shannon for helping to expand my cultural horizons.

A Whole New (Body) World

Last night, I went to see the Body Worlds exhibit at The Leonardo in Salt Lake City. My friends Marc and Mollie went along for the ride.

In school, science was never my best subject. I endured rather than enjoyed classes like Biology, Chemistry, and Earth Science. And I never took an Anatomy course. So, I stood to learn a lot from this experience.

One of the main things I gained from Body Worlds was a sense of awe, really, at the marvelous creation that is the human body. I felt an awareness of the millions, if not billions, of things that go on inside me each and every day, things I all too often take for granted, that make me what I am. Marc, Mollie, and I each expressed this thought - in one way or another - at various points throughout the exhibit. How fragile we are, indeed (as it says in the song by Sting).

I was also intrigued by things like the pair of lungs - charcoal black in color - from a smoker who had contracted lung cancer. That's about the best visual aid I can think of to dissuade anyone from taking up smoking or to persuade a smoker to kick the habit.

Human bodies were not the only bodies on display at Body Worlds. We stopped for a moment to look at the camels, in particular.

I'll admit that there were a few displays here and there that were a little bit creepy for me. (Whoever put it together certainly had a bizarre sense of humor - or something.) But those moments were few and far between.

If I'm not mistaken, Body Worlds will remain at The Leonardo until January. So, if you're at all curious, I would recommend checking it out.

The Glass Is Half Full

On Tuesday, American voters had their say. Whatever the outcome, it was going to be a historic election: We would either have our first black president or our first female vice president. The result: Barack Obama - like it or not - will be the 44th president of the United States.


To a lot of people I know, Obama's election was absolutely devastating news. After the verdict had become official Tuesday night, I spent a few minutes on Facebook, where I read all kinds of status updates from friends that said things like "The end is near" and "Our country has been flushed down the toilet."

I think most of them were kidding - maybe. (I have some weird friends, which is a compliment, in my book. "Normal" people are boring.)

To be honest, I felt somewhat disheartened, too, as I watched Obama's victory speech, delivered in front of a rabid crowd of supporters in Chicago.

Since then, I've done a lot of thinking about current events. And I began to realize that I was looking at a glass that was half empty, not half full. I began to think about all of the things that were and are still good about the United States of America. There are quite a few of them.


This is still the greatest country on Earth. This is a free land, where the restored gospel could come forth (and where its headquarters remain). I go back in my mind to the years I spent in Peru, in the third world, and I cannot now take for granted how good we have it here - because we really do have it a lot better than we think.

I think about the recent general conference of the Church that we had in October, both the people who delivered the messages and the messages themselves. And I don't recall hearing anything of panic or despair in their voices. Rather, I heard a lot of sound, wise counsel and a lot of hope, from people who are in control in the face of the storms of life and are looking optimistically to the present and to the future.

I also think about all of the people who rallied to help get Proposition 8 passed in California - something good that happened Tuesday - and I think, There are still good people in this country. There are still people who care about what I care about and are willing to take a stand on it.

I still don't like Barack Obama. I have questions about his ability to lead. I don't know where he's going to take this country in the next four years. It's also going to take a while for me to get used to saying "President Obama." (It just doesn't roll off the tongue like "President Lincoln" or "President Roosevelt.")

But, come January 20, I'm still going to give him a chance. I can disagree with him on issues and still support him as president. If Obama fails as president, then we, as Americans, will all fail. I'll take being led by Barack Obama any day over being led by Fidel Castro, what's-his-bucket in North Korea, or any other regime across the globe - even Canada (which, by the way, still waits for Alec Baldwin). And I don't wanna be a Canadian idiot. (Clayton knows what I mean.)

I just hope that, come January 20, Obama will be the kind of person his supporters believe they elected November 4.

Another Trunk, Another Treat

I love Halloween. It is one of my favorite holidays of the year. For me, it begins the holiday season, of sorts. (The whole Halloween-to-New Year's stretch of the year is my favorite, really.)

Each Halloween since 2003, my ward has hosted a "Trunk-or-Treat" for the Primary kids of the stake. A few neighbors from other faiths and some of our collective nieces and nephews often show up to take part, too. We usually have hundreds (if not thousands) come, and it is always a big success. We often run out of candy several times during the evening, and somebody usually has to frantically run to the store to buy more.

It is one of the highlights of our year and is always a blast for those who are involved.

This year, I swapped costumes with my brother Mike. He took my Jedi costume (mainly for Dallin's benefit), while I borrowed the executioner outfit he wore last year:


Fortunately, I did not scare any of the kids too badly. (I'm scarier without the mask on.)

Pepe was a big hit, as always, with his Gingerbread Man (the one from the Shrek movies) costume.


Mollie was a dalmatian, while she dressed up her poodle as a so-called "purple monkey."


A few people thought that Adam was supposed to be "Joe, the Plumber," but anyone who's played a Mario Bros.-themed game knows that's Luigi:


Standing next to Adam is Mike Guest, who I could only guess was one of the Joker's minions. (Why so serious?)


Stacie became a valley girl.


That's just a sampling of the many great costumes I saw.

Following the Trunk-or-Treat, we adjourned to Adam/Brian/Jordan/Mike's house for a party, which featured games, pumpkin carving, food, and, of course, Rock Band. (Cliché, yes. But who's complaining?)

I snapped this picture a second too late. Just before I took it, Brian, in mad scientist (Albert Einstein?) get-up, was dancing along to Rock Band like a wild man:


Ryan didn't make it to the Trunk-or-Treat but did make it to the party, dressed as Dr. McNinja:


I still need to learn who Dr. McNinja is.

I also stopped by my good friend Jared's party in Farmington later on and spent a couple of hours there.

In all, it was another enjoyable Halloween, and one spent with good company.